I’ve seen too many posts recently that express bewilderment as to why someone is being treated badly even though they give so much. So here’s my take on it in case it prompts some timely thought on the topic.
Sometimes it is random of course and nothing to do with the receiver, but if there’s a consistent pattern it might be worth looking at the bit we can change – our beliefs, behaviours and responses. For example, putting someone up on a pedestal and making them the priority all the time, means you probably see yourself as less than them. If you do, you will probably find that they take you at your own valuation, and treat you as less important.
You can give endlessly, and freely, as long as you remember to start by giving to yourself and demonstrate that you recognise your own worth. As I so often say – you can’t give what you don’t have. It’s also pretty difficult to receive from others what you don’t give to yourself! If you don’t give yourself what you need, and make it clear what you want, people may simply not know how to treat you. To create healthy relationships (with friends, family, partners, clients etc) it’s essential to learn to first love, honour and value yourself in order to attract and maintain enriching and valulable connections as equals.
Healthy boundaries, expressed BEFORE conflict arises, makes it easier to prevent or deal with it, and also to know when to stay ‘enough’. (This is not about ego, just about emotional health!)
If you’re keen to create better relationships, please get in touch.