Some days I hear the voice in my head say ‘ I should really do….’ or ‘I shouldn’t do that….’ Oh dear, there’s that word again. Aren’t I supposed to avoid ‘shoulding myself’?
Just jotting down some thoughts here, so stream of conscious time folks.
Whether it’s changing my diet and exercise programme, writing a regular blog post, being more tolerant, or clearing out my closet, ‘should’ does NOT inspire me to take action.
‘Should’ is generally an indicator that I haven’t made an active decision to do something, and that external forces are pushing me. It’s on someone else’s
to-do list. And if someone else says ‘you should’ to me then the chances are I will find a way to avoid it, or worse still, sabotage it. Even if that thing is actually good for me in some way. Does that sound familiar?
If I’ve decided that something is worthwhile, important and a priority to ME in some way, or there’s a powerful health, legal or financial motivation then I find that ‘should’ has a limited value in my motivation strategy. Once I identify how an action/inaction matches MY values then it becomes something I want to do. I might need to accept that it will take effort, but that’s ok if the outcome is worth it. If not, then it’s proably not a ‘should’ anyway!
It immediately gets easier and I can move out of a defensive, struggling place when I remember to shift ‘I should’ to ‘I choose‘.
Hmmm, need to start visualising being happy both on the journey and when I have taken action and achieved my goal. That gets a smile on my face, shifts my energy and removes those blocks. Suddenly I’ve moved from ‘I choose’ to ‘I love….’ and that’s a very different place to live! When I move into saying ‘I love….’ with integrity, THEN I’m in flow, and I’m likely to get a better result, enjoy myself more, and keep moving in a healthy direction.
(That was interesting for me, sharing my thoughts with you – my audience, even though I don’t yet know who you’ll be, and yet there you are, reading my words. It gave me a direction, trying to bring a bit of sense to my thoughts so you might have a chance of following them, so thank you for being there!)